The real reason I race ? Tri Fatherhood

Dear Izzy, Max, and Kate,

Sunday after church you handed me this, Izzy:

It wasn?t by accident. In your 8 years of life you?ve always delivered the voice of truth in our home. I had just finished complaining to Mommy about a recent run of ?bad luck? that we?ve had at home in the last few months with appliances breaking, both of our vehicles breaking down, hospital bills, dental bills, and other unexpected emergencies. The truth is, I was whining and feeling sorry for myself.

You brought things into focus for your dad.

That emotion set off a discussion with Mommy about how most people go through life, constantly trying to get more, meanwhile oblivious to their temporary place in the grand scheme. Life is flying by. Their children are growing up. The whole thing is a short journey and we?re missing it. We distract ourselves by chasing. Hopeful that more will dull the challenges, and make the victories more meaningful.

Day by day. Minute by minute. Second by second. Life?s short.? And I?m worried that this months dental bill won?t allow us to eat out as often. That?s a serious 1st world problem.

Life is hard.

And it?s relative.

I talked myself in circles as Mommy listened patiently. Then as I often do, I found a way to talk about triathlon in the context of the conversation. I thought about why I do it. The real reason. And how I feel in the moment that reason is realized each time I race.

I race, because it takes everything else away. It?s a renewing of my mind. Somewhere mid-way through the run of any race, regardless of the distance, but especially in half-iron (and I presume Ironman) my mind goes blank. Completely. What I do for a living is gone. My previous successes in life are gone. My failures are gone. My position in life is irrelevant. My dreams, and hopes, and fears, are gone. The problems of the world around me are erased. I?ve tried thinking about my family when the real hurt comes, but even that image doesn?t last. I wish it helped. But nothing does. The same holds true for those racing in front, beside, and behind me. The pain takes over. Their challenges and fears are gone too. We?re all stuck in that moment, by our choosing and the only thing worse than that black hole of physical suffering would be stopping ? and coming back to the real world.

In those painful closing miles I can go to a dark place where all that matters is getting to the finish line. It?s a black hole, where I want both the finish, and for it to last forever. I?ve cried at finish lines ? not because I was happy it was over, but because it was over. And for a short time afterwards I?m just a man ? like everyone else. Exhausted from the experience, but seldom more alive.

In the days following any event modern life begins to grip me again. Slowly at first. But eventually I forget that we?re all the same. Life resumes its heirarchies. The marketing messages burn deep. Obligations and promises. Expectations. And the monster of wanting more. So, I think about the black hole. I love all of you so much that it?s important for me to go back as often as I can. I come back renewed each time and more aware that there?s more to this journey than what?s on the surface. I?m grateful there?s always a next time for me. And I can escape back into the quiet cleansing darkness.
Je t?aime mon bebes,

- Daddy

Source: http://trifatherhood.com/2012/08/14/the-real-reason-i-race/

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Elusive sprite lightning caught on film

Sprites are reddish, ultrafast bursts of electricity that are born near the edge of space, about 50 miles (80 kilometers) up in the atmosphere.

For a long time, pilots claimed to see them, but few believed the pilots until scientists accidentally captured images of sprites dancing above thunderstorms in 1989.

They flicker in and out of existence so quickly they are very difficult to catch on camera ? until now.

A group of researchers, along with help from Japan's NHK television, sought them out regularly for two weeks in the summer of 2011. Filming at 10,000 frames per second on two separate jets, the team recorded some of the best movies of sprites ever taken ? movies that can be used to study this poorly understood phenomenon and the forces that create them, according to a NASA release.

By filming from two jets flying 12 miles (19 km) apart, the team mapped out the 3-D nature of the sprites.

The basic understanding of sprites is that they are related to lightning, in which a neutrally charged cloud discharges some of its electricity to the ground. Normally, negative charge is carried from the cloud to the ground, but about 10 percent of the time it's a positive charge ? and that leaves the top of the cloud negatively charged, which can produce sprites.

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Sprites are usually blocked from view on the ground by the very clouds that produce them. They send pulses of electrical energy up toward the edge of space ? the electrically charged layer of the atmosphere known as the ionosphere ? instead of down to Earth's surface.

They are often jellyfish-shaped, starting as balls of light that stream downward. Red sprites can extend 12 to 19 miles (20 to 30 km) up into the atmosphere.

Follow OurAmazingPlanet on Twitter? @OAPlanet.? We're also on? Facebook? and Google+.

Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/48681384/ns/technology_and_science-science/

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Making $11,000 a year, but excluded from Medicaid

MIAMI (AP) ? Sandra Pico is poor, but not poor enough.

She makes about $15,000 a year, supporting her daughter and unemployed husband. She thought she'd be able to get health insurance after the Supreme Court upheld President Barack Obama's health care law.

Then she heard that her own governor won't agree to the federal plan to extend Medicaid coverage to people like her in two years. So she expects to remain uninsured, struggling to pay for her blood pressure medicine.

"You fall through the cracks and there's nothing you can do about it," said the 52-year-old home health aide. "It makes me feel like garbage, like the American dream, my dream in my homeland is not being accomplished."

Many working parents like Pico are below the federal poverty line but don't qualify for Medicaid, a decades-old state-federal insurance program. That's especially true in states where conservative governors say they'll reject the Medicaid expansion under Obama's health law.

In South Carolina, a yearly income of $16,900 is too much for Medicaid for a family of three. In Florida, $11,000 a year is too much. In Mississippi, $8,200 a year is too much. In Louisiana and Texas, earning more than just $5,000 a year makes you ineligible for Medicaid.

Governors in those five states have said they'll reject the Medicaid expansion underpinning Obama's health law after the Supreme Court's decision gave states that option. They favor small government and say they can't afford the added cost to their states even if it's delayed by several years. Some states estimate the expansion could ultimately cost them a billion dollars a year or more.

Many of the people affected by the decision are working parents who are poor ? but not poor enough ? to qualify for Medicaid.

Republican Mitt Romney's new running mate, conservative Wisconsin congressman Paul Ryan, has a budget plan that would turn Medicaid over to the states and sharply limit federal dollars. Romney hasn't specifically said where he stands on Ryan's idea, but has expressed broad support for his vice presidential pick's proposals.

Medicaid now covers an estimated 70 million Americans and would cover an estimated 7 million more in 2014 under the Obama health law's expansion. In contrast, Ryan's plan could mean 14 million to 27 million Americans would ultimately lose coverage, even beyond the effect of a repeal of the health law, according to an analysis by the nonpartisan Kaiser Family Foundation of Ryan's 2011 budget plan.

For now, most states don't cover childless adults, but all states cover some low-income parents. The income cutoff, however, varies widely from state to state.

Most states cover children in low-income families. Manuel and Sandra Pico's 15-year-old daughter is covered by Medicaid. But the suburban Miami couple can't afford private insurance for themselves and they make too much for Florida's Medicaid.

Manuel Pico, a carpenter, used to make more than $20,000 a year, but has struggled to find work in the last three years after the real estate market collapsed. He occasionally picks up day jobs or takes care of the neighbor's yard. Sandra Pico would like to work full time, but can't afford to pay someone to watch her 34-year-old sister, who has Down syndrome.

"No matter how hard I work, I'm not going to get anywhere," Sandra Pico said. "If you're not rich, you just don't have it."

In San Juan, Texas, 22-year-old Matthew Solis makes about $8,700 a year ? too much to qualify for Medicaid in that state. Solis, a single father with joint custody of his 4-year-old daughter, said he works about 25 hours per week at a building supply store making minimum wage and is a full-time college student at the University of Texas-Pan American. He aspires to be a school counselor.

He recently sought medical care for food poisoning, visiting a federally funded clinic. But he doesn't see a doctor regularly because he can't afford private insurance. The new health law allows young adults to remain on their parents' insurance until age 26. But that doesn't help Solis, whose father is uninsured and whose mother died of leukemia when he was 8.

"I voted for him (Obama) because he promised we would have insurance," Solis said. "I'm pretty upset because I worked for Obama and I still don't have coverage."

His governor, Rick Perry, like Pico's governor, Rick Scott, is rejecting the Medicaid expansion. So Solis too is out of luck unless his circumstances dramatically change.

In all but one of the states where governors are rejecting or leaning against the expansion, the income level that disqualifies a parent from Medicaid is below the federal poverty line. Only in New Jersey, where Gov. Chris Christie has said he's leaning against the expansion, is Medicaid available to parents with incomes at the poverty line and slightly above. New Jersey will cover a parent making $24,645 in a family of three.

Most states base Medicaid eligibility for parents on household income and how it compares to the federal poverty level, which was $18,530 for a family of three in 2011, the year being used for easier state-by-state comparisons.

In Louisiana, the eligibility cutoff for a working parent is 25 percent of federal poverty, or $4,633 for a family of three. In Nevada, it's 87 percent of the federal poverty level, or $16,121 for a family of three.

That's been the range in states where governors are likely saying no to expanded Medicaid.

In contrast, states where governors have said they'll expand Medicaid are more generous with working parents. The Medicaid eligibility cutoff ranges in those states from Washington's $13,527 to Minnesota's $39,840.

To be sure, some states with generous coverage for parents have been forced to cut back. Illinois, facing a financial crisis, ended coverage last month for more than 25,000 working parents. Even so, the state still covers working parents with incomes slightly higher than the poverty line.

The national health law's Medicaid expansion would start covering all citizens in 2014 who make up to roughly $15,400 for an individual, $30,650 for a family of four.

The federal government will pay the full cost of the Medicaid expansion through 2016. After that, the states will pick up 5 percent of the cost through 2019, and 10 percent of the cost thereafter.

Why would a governor say no?

These state leaders are in favor of smaller government. In principle, they don't want the federal government to expand ? even if that expansion would help their own citizens. Also Medicaid is costly, taking a huge bite out of budgets already. And they don't want to be on the hook for paying any more of the tab even if it's years down the road.

"We don't need the federal government telling us what to do when it comes to meeting the needs of the citizens of our states," Florida Gov. Rick Scott wrote recently in an opinion piece for U.S. News and World Report. "And we don't need Washington putting states on the hook for future budget obligations."

Also, many conservatives view Medicaid as a wasteful, highly flawed program, akin to no health coverage. Many doctors across the country won't treat Medicaid patients because the payments they receive are so low.

When the Supreme Court ruled that states could opt out of the health law's Medicaid expansion, it raised the chances for inequity at a time when more Americans have fallen from the middle class into poverty, said Isabel Sawhill, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution.

"Why should a sick person in Connecticut have access to health care when they don't in Mississippi and Texas?" Sawhill asked. "We really do have a very high level of poverty as a result of the recession. And the safety net is weaker than ever."

Medicaid, the nation's single largest insurer, is a state and federal program created in 1965 as a companion program to welfare cash assistance to single parents. Today, the elderly and disabled cost nearly 70 cents of every Medicaid dollar, not the stereotypical single mother and her children.

What's largely unknown to many Americans is who is left out of the safety net, said Cheryl Camillo, a senior researcher at Mathematica Policy Research. "A huge chunk of the populace is not covered, even by Medicaid," she said.

The political rhetoric during a presidential campaign focuses on the middle class and leaves the uninsured working poor largely invisible, said Rand Corp. researcher Dr. Art Kellermann.

"We hear a lot of talk about unemployment and the aspirations of middle-class Americans. But we don't hear about the consequences of unemployment and the consequences of the collapsing middle class," Kellermann said. Losing health insurance is one of those consequences.

"It's like the public just doesn't want to believe anything else until it hits home," he said, "Until it's their own child, brother or parent that got laid off when they were 58, until then, it's not real."

___

AP Medical Writer Carla K. Johnson reported from Chicago. AP Writer Christopher Sherman contributed to this report from San Juan, Texas.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/making-11-000-excluded-medicaid-195936677.html

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Lost letter experiment suggests wealthy London neighborhoods are 'more altruistic'

[ Back to EurekAlert! ] Public release date: 15-Aug-2012
[ | E-mail | Share Share ]

Contact: Ruth Howells
ruth.howells@ucl.ac.uk
44-203-108-3845
University College London

Neighbourhood income deprivation has a strong negative effect on altruistic behaviour when measured by a 'lost letter' experiment, according to new UCL research published today in PLOS ONE.

Researchers from UCL Anthropology used the lost letter technique to measure altruism across 20 London neighbourhoods by dropping 300 letters on the pavement and recording whether they arrived at their destination. The stamped letters were addressed by hand to a study author's home address with a gender neutral name, and were dropped face-up and during rain free weekdays.

The results show a strong negative effect of neighbourhood income deprivation on altruistic behaviour, with an average of 87% of letters dropped in the wealthier neighbourhoods being returned compared to only an average 37% return rate in poorer neighbourhoods.

Co-author Jo Holland said: "This is the first large scale study investigating cooperation in an urban environment using the lost letter technique. This technique, first used in the 1960s by the American social psychologist Stanley Milgram, remains one of the best ways of measuring truly altruistic behaviour, as returning the letter doesn't benefit that person and actually incurs the small hassle of taking the letter to a post box.

Co-author Professor Ruth Mace added: "Our study attempts to understand how the socio-economic characteristics of a neighbourhood affect the likelihood of people in a neighbourhood acting altruistically towards a stranger. The results show a clear trend, with letters dropped in the poorest neighbourhoods having 91% lower odds of being returned than letters dropped in the wealthiest neighbourhoods. This suggests that those living in poor neighbourhoods are less inclined to behave altruistically toward their neighbours."

As well as measuring the number of letters returned, the researchers also looked at how other neighbourhood characteristics may help to explain the variation in altruistic behaviour including ethnic composition and population density but did not find them to be good predictors of lost letter return.

Corresponding author Antonio Silva said: "The fact that ethnic composition does not play a role on the likelihood of a letter being returned is particularly interesting, as other studies have suggested that ethnic mixing negatively affects social cohesion, but in our sampled London neighbourhoods this does not appear to be true.

"The level of altruism observed in a population is likely to vary according to its context. Our hypothesis that area level socio-economic characteristics could determine the levels of altruism found in individuals living in an area is confirmed by our results. Our overall findings replicate and expand on previous studies which use similar methodology.

"We show in this study that individuals living in poor neighbourhoods are less altruistic than individuals in wealthier neighbourhoods. However, the effect of income deprivation may be confounded by crime, as the poorer neighbourhoods tend to have higher rates crime which may lead to people in those neighbourhoods being generally more suspicious and therefore less likely to pick up a lost letter.

"Further research should focus on attempting to disentangle these two factors, possibly by comparing equally deprived neighbourhoods with different levels of crime. Although this study uses only one measure of altruism and therefore we should be careful in interpreting these findings, it does give us an interesting perspective on altruism in an urban context and provides a sound experimental model on which to base future studies."

###

Notes for Editors

1. For more information, please contact Ruth Howells in the UCL Media Relations Office on tel: +44 (0)20 3108 3845, mobile: +44 (0)7990 675947, out of hours +44 (0)7917 271 364, e-mail: ruth.howells@ucl.ac.uk

2. 'Lost Letter Measure of Variation in Altruistic Behaviour in 20 Neighbourhoods' is published in the open access journal PLOS ONE online ahead of print embargoed until 21.00 UK time (17.00 US Eastern), Wednesday 15 August 2012. Journalists can obtain advance copies of the paper by contacting the UCL Media Relations Office. After the embargo lifts the paper will be available here: http://dx.plos.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0043294

3. The study was funded by the European Research Council and the Foundation of Science and Technology (Portugal).

4. The study was carried out by Jo Holland, Antonio S. Silva and Professor Ruth Mace (UCL Anthropology).

5. The 20 neighbourhoods surveyed were East Sheen, Bromley 1, Bromley 2, Merton, Pinner, Sutton West, Wimbledon, Sutton Clockhouse, Barnet, East Acton, Greenwich, Lavender, Canning, Hoxton, Shadwell 2, Shadwell 1, Blackwall, East India, Limehouse and St. Dunstans.

About UCL (University College London)

Founded in 1826, UCL was the first English university established after Oxford and Cambridge, the first to admit students regardless of race, class, religion or gender, and the first to provide systematic teaching of law, architecture and medicine. We are among the world's top universities, as reflected by performance in a range of international rankings and tables. UCL currently has 24,000 students from almost 140 countries, and more than 9,500 employees. Our annual income is over 800 million.

www.ucl.ac.uk | Follow us on Twitter @uclnews


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AAAS and EurekAlert! are not responsible for the accuracy of news releases posted to EurekAlert! by contributing institutions or for the use of any information through the EurekAlert! system.


[ Back to EurekAlert! ] Public release date: 15-Aug-2012
[ | E-mail | Share Share ]

Contact: Ruth Howells
ruth.howells@ucl.ac.uk
44-203-108-3845
University College London

Neighbourhood income deprivation has a strong negative effect on altruistic behaviour when measured by a 'lost letter' experiment, according to new UCL research published today in PLOS ONE.

Researchers from UCL Anthropology used the lost letter technique to measure altruism across 20 London neighbourhoods by dropping 300 letters on the pavement and recording whether they arrived at their destination. The stamped letters were addressed by hand to a study author's home address with a gender neutral name, and were dropped face-up and during rain free weekdays.

The results show a strong negative effect of neighbourhood income deprivation on altruistic behaviour, with an average of 87% of letters dropped in the wealthier neighbourhoods being returned compared to only an average 37% return rate in poorer neighbourhoods.

Co-author Jo Holland said: "This is the first large scale study investigating cooperation in an urban environment using the lost letter technique. This technique, first used in the 1960s by the American social psychologist Stanley Milgram, remains one of the best ways of measuring truly altruistic behaviour, as returning the letter doesn't benefit that person and actually incurs the small hassle of taking the letter to a post box.

Co-author Professor Ruth Mace added: "Our study attempts to understand how the socio-economic characteristics of a neighbourhood affect the likelihood of people in a neighbourhood acting altruistically towards a stranger. The results show a clear trend, with letters dropped in the poorest neighbourhoods having 91% lower odds of being returned than letters dropped in the wealthiest neighbourhoods. This suggests that those living in poor neighbourhoods are less inclined to behave altruistically toward their neighbours."

As well as measuring the number of letters returned, the researchers also looked at how other neighbourhood characteristics may help to explain the variation in altruistic behaviour including ethnic composition and population density but did not find them to be good predictors of lost letter return.

Corresponding author Antonio Silva said: "The fact that ethnic composition does not play a role on the likelihood of a letter being returned is particularly interesting, as other studies have suggested that ethnic mixing negatively affects social cohesion, but in our sampled London neighbourhoods this does not appear to be true.

"The level of altruism observed in a population is likely to vary according to its context. Our hypothesis that area level socio-economic characteristics could determine the levels of altruism found in individuals living in an area is confirmed by our results. Our overall findings replicate and expand on previous studies which use similar methodology.

"We show in this study that individuals living in poor neighbourhoods are less altruistic than individuals in wealthier neighbourhoods. However, the effect of income deprivation may be confounded by crime, as the poorer neighbourhoods tend to have higher rates crime which may lead to people in those neighbourhoods being generally more suspicious and therefore less likely to pick up a lost letter.

"Further research should focus on attempting to disentangle these two factors, possibly by comparing equally deprived neighbourhoods with different levels of crime. Although this study uses only one measure of altruism and therefore we should be careful in interpreting these findings, it does give us an interesting perspective on altruism in an urban context and provides a sound experimental model on which to base future studies."

###

Notes for Editors

1. For more information, please contact Ruth Howells in the UCL Media Relations Office on tel: +44 (0)20 3108 3845, mobile: +44 (0)7990 675947, out of hours +44 (0)7917 271 364, e-mail: ruth.howells@ucl.ac.uk

2. 'Lost Letter Measure of Variation in Altruistic Behaviour in 20 Neighbourhoods' is published in the open access journal PLOS ONE online ahead of print embargoed until 21.00 UK time (17.00 US Eastern), Wednesday 15 August 2012. Journalists can obtain advance copies of the paper by contacting the UCL Media Relations Office. After the embargo lifts the paper will be available here: http://dx.plos.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0043294

3. The study was funded by the European Research Council and the Foundation of Science and Technology (Portugal).

4. The study was carried out by Jo Holland, Antonio S. Silva and Professor Ruth Mace (UCL Anthropology).

5. The 20 neighbourhoods surveyed were East Sheen, Bromley 1, Bromley 2, Merton, Pinner, Sutton West, Wimbledon, Sutton Clockhouse, Barnet, East Acton, Greenwich, Lavender, Canning, Hoxton, Shadwell 2, Shadwell 1, Blackwall, East India, Limehouse and St. Dunstans.

About UCL (University College London)

Founded in 1826, UCL was the first English university established after Oxford and Cambridge, the first to admit students regardless of race, class, religion or gender, and the first to provide systematic teaching of law, architecture and medicine. We are among the world's top universities, as reflected by performance in a range of international rankings and tables. UCL currently has 24,000 students from almost 140 countries, and more than 9,500 employees. Our annual income is over 800 million.

www.ucl.ac.uk | Follow us on Twitter @uclnews


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AAAS and EurekAlert! are not responsible for the accuracy of news releases posted to EurekAlert! by contributing institutions or for the use of any information through the EurekAlert! system.


Source: http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2012-08/ucl-lle081512.php

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A Baby by Any Other Name

Emily Yoffe.

Emily Yoffe

Photograph by Teresa Castracane.

Emily Yoffe, aka Dear Prudence, is on Washingtonpost.com weekly to chat live with readers. An edited?transcript of the chat is below. (Sign up here?to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. Read Prudie?s?Slate columns?here. Send questions to Prudence at prudence@slate.com.)

Emily Yoffe: Good afternoon. Thanks for joining me at a new time.

Q. What's in a Name?: My husband and his first wife named their son Adam. Their Adam is 25 and lives across the country from us. Now we are having a son, and Adam is my late father's name and grandfather's name. I always wanted to name my son after my dad. My husband says I can't do that because of his firstborn son, and he can't have two sons named Adam. But mostly, because it would upset his ex-wife. I don't think I should have to forgo naming my son after my dad because of this. We rarely see his older son, so I don't see what the problem is. My husband got to pick the name for our daughter and it meant a lot to him. This means a lot to me. His son said it would be all right with him, but his ex is livid at the idea.

A: Only three more sons to go?all named Adam?and your husband could tie George Foreman's record for having sons who all share the same name. I hear from a lot of people who think other family members have "stolen" a name they wanted for their child. But while it doesn't matter if cousins have the same name, it is bizarre to give more than one of your own children the same name. You husband already has a son named Adam. The older Adam may feel so disconnected (or is so laid back) that he says he doesn't care that he could have a younger brother also named Adam. But your husband says he doesn't want to give both his sons the same name. I agree the wishes of the ex-wife are completely irrelevant, but maybe your husband is trying to make her the heavy. You can honor your own family name by making Adam your son's middle name. You could even flip your father's first and middle names for your own son. I know Adam was the first man, but there have been many since them and you need to choose another name, because in your family, Adam is taken.

Dear Prudence: Porn on the Hard Drive

Q. Self-Centered Niece Drives Me Nuts: My sister and her husband had their daughter Abby after struggling with infertility for years. Now 13, Abby has been spoiled by being an only child. Since childhood she has always demanded the attention of whatever adult was in her vicinity. Her favorite phrases were, "Look at me!" and "Listen to me!" While I thought her antics were cute when she was 5 or 6, I know find them very grating. I am not the only person in my family who feels that way, either. Abby still interrupts conversations to show a new trick or tell a joke. At my daughter's last birthday, Abby put on a concert while we ate cake and became upset when some people continued their conversations. My sister and brother-in-law are incredibly sensitive when it comes to any criticism of their daughter. I wouldn't say anything to them about Abby's behavior if I hadn't recently passed the point where having her around annoys me. I love my niece, but I don't like her very much. Should I talk to Abby or to my sister about how I would appreciate it if Abby didn't demand so much attention? Or should I keep quiet and avoid Abby?

A: Abby's been horribly spoiled, but please, it's not a function of being an only child, it's a function of being the child of your sister and brother-in-law. (I say this as the mother of a wonderfully unspoiled only.) Some people with enormous talent and drive take the internal imperative of "Look at me!" and turn it into a successful show-business career. Most people like this, however, are just obnoxious show-offs whom others?like their loving aunt?want to avoid. Abby's road is going to be plenty tough when she gets out into the world and loses her captive audience. Some people in her situation find life to be a corrective when they realize the rest of the world is not interested in being part of "The Abby Show." Let's hope your niece learns from the cold water others are going to throw on her. As far as family functions are concerned, however, Abby is old enough that you don't have to address her behavior through her parents. If she starts screaming, "Look at me! Listen to me!" you can say, "Abby, honey, I'm talking to someone else, so I can't pay attention to you right now." If she gets upset that her concert audience isn't in hushed awe, that's her problem?you can just keep right on talking.

Q. Sisterly Advice About Weight: I am debating whether to broach a very sensitive topic with my younger (and only) sister: her weight. She has been significantly obese since childhood (no thanks to our mother's lack of supervision and predilection for fast food). I also struggled with my weight, but through diet and exercise I was able to lose 40 pounds a few years ago and have maintained the weight loss. Although only in her 20s, she is at least 100 pounds overweight, and we have a strong family history for Type II diabetes and heart disease. My sister has three kids already and during the delivery of her last child, she had a life-threatening complication that could be linked to her obesity. We live across the country from each other, but she recently told me that she intends to try for another baby this winter. In light of her last pregnancy (and she has gained even more weight since), I am very concerned for her health, but it does not seem to concern her at all. I don't want my sister to end up leaving her children motherless. But, I also know my sister is very sensitive about anyone talking about her weight. A well-meaning relative purchased her a weight-loss system when she was a teenager and that seemed to throw her into a depression which led to more comfort eating. How should I go about bringing this up?

A: I'm so glad you came to me because I've been wanting to unveil my simple, fail-proof system for getting other people to lose weight. I think you know that this subject is a loser. Your sister knows she is obese, but she's made the subject verboten. I agree it is alarming that someone who almost died during her last pregnancy is planning another one without having resolved any of her underlying health issues. I think the only way to broach this is in person. Set up a visit and before you come say that because of the complications of her last pregnancy, you are very concerned about the potential danger to her health of another. Say you would like to go with her to her gynecologist to discuss a future pregnancy and how to make it safe. If the doctor doesn't mention weight, then you absolutely should. If she refuses this suggestion, you could try to have a private talk with her husband about your concerns. But if she (and he) are not responsive, just accept there really isn't anything you can do. And be careful while your broach this subject that you don't appear to be lording your weight loss over you sister.

Q. Re: Too Many Adams: What about using a different middle name? Adam Michael (older) and Adam James (baby). Or compromise with a variant name: Adam has 24 variant forms: Ad, Adamo, Adams, Adan, Adao, Addam, Addams, Addem, Addie, Addis, Addison, Addy, Ade, Adem, Adham, Adhamh, Adim, Adnet, Adnon, Adnot, Adom, Atim, Atkins, and Edom.

A: I'm against giving two sons the same first name, period. And somehow I think a mother who wants to name her son Adam is not going to go for "Adnot." I'm sticking with finding a new name altogether, or flipping the first and middle names of the paternal grandfather.

Q. First Anniversary After Death: My sibling died recently after suffering through a long illness. While I am not close emotionally or geographically to the spouse, I do still care greatly for this person and imagine that the upcoming wedding anniversary will be a painful time. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can acknowledge this date without causing more pain? It seems like reaching out on the anniversary is just sending a reminder that my sibling is gone, but ignoring it seems even worse. Thanks.

A: People in mourning often say one of the hurts they suffer is that everyone seems to forget their departed loved one, when it turns out other people may be just trying not to "remind" them of their loss. No one is forgetting their loss. It would be lovely for you to call or send a card saying you are thinking of your brother or sister in law on this day. Say you know how much you are missing your sibling, so you sympathize with their pain. You can add that seeing your sibling in such a happy marriage was a great joy to all of you, and your sibling chose wisely.

Source: http://feeds.slate.com/click.phdo?i=0a5684779e818758ca5160bb8268d245

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Discover Hidden Profits With Affiliate Marketing And Your Blog Or Site

With our mixed market economy, businesses are free to compete and battle on a daily basis. It is important for you as a business owner to have the upper hand or at the very least, be on the same level as your competitors. This article will provide you with the information about affiliate marketing, so you can keep up or even surpass your competition.

Make sure to allow for time to work on your site, especially early on. All affiliate marketers have a goal of owning a ?work free? site, but getting there takes time. In the beginning, spend some time developing your graphics, updating your design, and doing some research. You?ll see a better pay off in the end.

Here is an idea for affiliate marketing! Create a topical lead magnet, like a video series or podcast, on your website and have a newsletter sign-up on that page. This will give you the ability to send your affiliate emails to a broad audience who are interested in your topic! In addition, you now have a broader audience to market your products to!

When attempting to make money at affiliate marketing, it is imperative that you are honest with your site?s visitors. Web users are very savvy and they know what an affiliate link is. If you promote junk products or take advantage of your site?s visitors by featuring too many ads, they will leave your site and never come back.

Provide good quality, useful content on your affiliate website. If you provide visitors with well-written, helpful articles and product reviews they will be more likely to trust you. Once you have earned the trust of your website visitors, you have a much better chance of persuading them to buy a product via your affiliate link.

Give visitors many different options for connecting to your affiliate marketing through social media networks. In this day and age, people often choose to surf whichever portal is most convenient to them at the moment. If they are already posting on one source, they will often stay on that same source for more information. Be available on all of the social media sites in order to always be easily accessible to visitors.

Try offering free shipping to your customers. People hate paying outrageous prices for shipping charges and having free shipping can attract more customers. If you can?t afford to foot that bill yourself, have advertisers foot the bill in exchange for being able to include ads in each package you send out.

Work with different programs that sell similar products. By offering multiple products you are giving your customers a variety of choices and improving the chances of turning your prospects into paying customers. This will also give you data as to what your customers want so you can target your products more efficiently.

If you?re producing a ton of sales for a company you?re affiliated with, ask for more commission. As long as you?re driving a ton of sales their way, they?re likely to give in to your offer to ensure you don?t switch and send people to a different company instead, cutting their sales in the process.

As stated in the beginning of this article, businesses are free to compete so you, being a business owner, need to actively compete with your competitors. Take the information about affiliate marketing that has been provided in this article and use these techniques to get the sales you want and push down your competition.

Beside creating articles about Affiliate Revenue, Digna Goulden also gives advice about ubot studio free download? on her websites. To know more about it, visit www.warriorforum.com

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Source: http://affiliatemarketingonlinebusiness.com/discover-hidden-profits-with-affiliate-marketing-and-your-blog-or-site/

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DAUGHTER SAFELY HOME | Family Affairs and other matters

My daughter swanned back into my life yesterday having spent a week with a friend of mine and three of her friends in Spain. IT?S ALL RIGHT FOR SOME ? she?s having a lovely holiday (pre her exam results)?.

She looks gorgeous as usual. She?s even got a bit of a tan which is a rarity for her ? she generally goes Fifty Shades of Pale (talking of which she appears to be reading it which is a huge worry and I?m not sure what to do about it). She is covered in some spectacular bruises. Apparently she fell down some steps ? not just any steps ? steps that led directly onto a dance floor in one of the clubs ? so she certainly made herself known to the crowd.

I had warned her not to accept drinks from strangers. At all. So instead, they appear to have got around that by making friends with various promoters who then give them free bottles of vodka. I mean really. My son is appalled ? HOW COME THE GIRLS HAVE IT SO EASY ? IT?S SO EXPENSIVE FOR BOYS TO GO OUT ? THEY HAVE TO BUY GIRLS DRINKS AND It?s not fair. Why don?t I get offered free bottles of vodka? I found myself briefly agreeing before being concerned for their welfare (in hindsight).

Seriously though, it is quite a worry.

She is now officially in love with my friend as well. I don?t blame her. I was worried about this bit. She is literally the most perfect mother in the world. She bakes. Drives. Helps. Does all that stuff I?m not very good at. I?ve stayed with her before ? in fact she allowed me to sleep in her spare room when I moved out of my marital home and had nowhere to live. The children were temporarily housed at their father?s house. I was a nomad. She used to wake all three of her children (and me) up with hot drinks. Tea, hot chocolate, whatever they wanted and I thought to myself, I?ll never be that sort of mother ? I?m not attentive enough. I am more of the ?FOR THE FIFTH TIME GET UP FFS!!!!? school of motherhood (although I generally don?t swear if it?s a school day).

I asked my daughter whether she?d been out in the evenings to eat ? ?yeh a few times, but the food was so much nicer at home ? she cooks really well ? can you believe that when we got up at midday she had laid everything out for us and made us couscous salads with feta and chicken kebabs and SOOOO many lovely things?.? she looked wistful.

?I know, I?m sorry, I?m just not that sort of mother ? I?m just not very good at feeding the troops? and she said ?mum, you?re rubbish ? you wouldn?t even lay the table and put out a box of Rice Krispies to give us for lunch.?

She?s right.

Oh the shame.

Must try harder.

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Source: http://www.familyaffairsandothermatters.com/daughter-safely-home/

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Kate Beckinsale vs. Jessica Biel on red carpet

By Kurt Schlosser, TODAY

Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel are bringing their best looks to the red carpet for the rollout of their new film, "Total Recall."

Sean Gallup / Getty Images

Jessica Biel, left, and Kate Beckinsale at a Berlin photocall.

The two actresses faced off in Berlin on Monday. At a morning photocall on the terrace of the China Club, the Daily Mail took notice of matching blue suede heels. Examiner.com gave props to Beckinsale for her body-hugging purple dress and "age-defying physique." Style Bistro was impressed with Biel's watercolor crop-top look, but said what really made the ensemble a hit was her "soft-swept updo."

Later Monday night, the stars stepped out for the premiere of the film and Beckinsale was a "vision of loveliness wearing a Naeem Khan Fall 2012 gown," according to Red Carpet Fashion Awards. The same site says Biel "shimmered" in a fully-embellished sleek black halter Elie Saab Fall 2012 gown, but took points off for having her bangs down.

Getty Images, AP

Beckinsale, left, and Biel at the German premiere of "Total Recall."

So what do you think? Is one actress shining brighter than the other? Vote below!

Source: http://todayentertainment.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/08/13/13262272-kate-beckinsale-vs-jessica-biel-on-the-red-carpet?lite

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Bo Xilai case a tricky matter for China's leaders

FILE - In this March 11, 2012 file photo, then Chongqing party secretary Bo Xilai attends a plenary session of the National People's Congress at the Great Hall of the People in Beijing. Bo's wife Gu Kailai who is accused of murdering Bo family associate, British businessman Neil Heywood, went on trial Thursday, Aug. 9, 2012 at the Hefei Intermediate People's Court in eastern China. Bo's name was not mentioned at the trial of Gu, who confessed to killing Heywood following a financial dispute and what she said were threats to her son. (AP Photo/Andy Wong, File)

FILE - In this March 11, 2012 file photo, then Chongqing party secretary Bo Xilai attends a plenary session of the National People's Congress at the Great Hall of the People in Beijing. Bo's wife Gu Kailai who is accused of murdering Bo family associate, British businessman Neil Heywood, went on trial Thursday, Aug. 9, 2012 at the Hefei Intermediate People's Court in eastern China. Bo's name was not mentioned at the trial of Gu, who confessed to killing Heywood following a financial dispute and what she said were threats to her son. (AP Photo/Andy Wong, File)

FILE - In this March 14, 2012 file photo, Bo Xilai, Chongqing party secretary, attends the closing session of the annual National People's Congress in the Great Hall of the People, in Beijing, China. Bo's wife Gu Kailai who is accused of murdering Bo family associate, British businessman Neil Heywood went on trial Thursday, Aug. 9, 2012 at the Hefei Intermediate People's Court in eastern China. Bo's name was not mentioned at the trial of Gu, who confessed to killing Heywood following a financial dispute and what she said were threats to her son. (AP Photo/Ng Han Guan, File)

(AP) ? Trying disgraced politician Bo Xilai's wife for murder was the easy part in cleaning up the political mess the couple has created for China's communist party leaders. Now comes the tough part: punishing Bo for abuse of power without further tarnishing the party's reputation.

Disciplining him quietly will save the party the embarrassment of washing its dirty linen in public but reinforce public perception that it goes soft on one of its own. Analysts say the leadership is therefore more likely to bite the bullet and try Bo in public in a nod to rule of law.

The first indication of this came when four Chongqing police officers were tried Friday for allegedly trying to help Bo's wife Gu Kailai cover up the murder of a British business associate, Neil Heywood, said Cheng Li, a China politics expert at the Brookings Institution in Washington D.C..

Chinese politics has a history of attacking subordinates to get at their superiors, and as part of the chain of command, the four can be directly linked to Bo, once the supreme communist party boss of Chongqing, a mega-city in China's east.

Li said the trial of the officers was a firm indication Bo would definitely face a judge, possibly in relation to the killing. "That's a statement that Bo Xilai will be charged," Li said.

Time is growing tight for an announcement, since the party may want to deal with the matter ahead of a national congress, likely in October that will usher in a once-in-a-decade transfer of power to a group of new leaders.

Since being axed as Chongqing's chief in March, Bo has also been suspended from the Politburo, which groups the party's top 25 members. Still, he continues to enjoy the rights and protections of party membership.

Bo's removal marked China's biggest upheaval in the leadership since the violent suppression of the Tiananmen Square pro-democracy protests in 1989 and only the third time since then that it had toppled a member of the Politburo, which sits just below the Politburo Standing Committee, China's top ruling body.

Bo, 64, was once seen as a candidate for one of the nine seats on the committee.

His world came crashing down when Chongqing police chief Wang Lijun, once an ally, sneaked into the U.S. consulate in the southwestern city of Chengdu in February and handed over information to the Americans about the Heywood's killing, which until then had been classified as accidental death due to excessive drinking.

That prompted Britain to ask China to reopen an investigation, which they did, resulting in Gu's arrest. She was tried Thursday, and it is all but certain that she will be convicted of murdering Heywood, as the state media has claimed that she has confessed in open court. International media was not allowed into the court room.

Wang is also under arrest and will face a trial in future.

Bo's name was not mentioned during the trial or in the subsequent reports in the state media, a sign the party wants to isolate Gu's case from any potential charges against her husband.

Bo is in the hands of the party's internal discipline and inspection commission, whose investigations of ranking party members can last several months. A commission announcement that it had concluded its probe would open the way for a trial, with charges possibly including obstructing police work, abuse of power, and corruption. Thus far, Bo has been accused only of grievous but unspecified rules violations.

Even if Bo is charged, a trial will not likely come before the 18th party congress is neatly wrapped up. But if he goes to trial, a conviction is virtually guaranteed.

Outcomes in such cases are almost always predetermined. While Chinese justice can seem to move slowly behind a veil of secrecy, events proceed rapidly once a decision has been reached.

"They still want to get him, and will, in party discipline procedures and possibly in court as well," said Perry Link, Princeton University emeritus professor of East Asian studies, who added he believed that a potential trial would come only much later.

Bo, the son of a Communist revolutionary veteran, was a rare Chinese populist politician, whose charisma and concern for social welfare such as affordable housing made him a favorite among the country's working-class and among some in the leadership.

But his maneuvering to reach the highest echelons of the Communist Party angered many in Beijing, as did his highly publicized campaigns to crush organized crime and promote Communist culture while trampling on civil liberties and reviving memories of the chaotic Cultural Revolution. Lawyers and government critics were also victims of the anti-crime campaign ? in which torture was allegedly widely employed ? and have slowly come forward seeking to have their verdicts overturned.

In a major speech in June, Bo's replacement, fellow Politburo member Zhang Dejiang, said the case "brought serious damage to the image of the country and the party."

The last time a case of this magnitude hit China's communist party was five years ago, when Shanghai's powerful party boss, Chen Liangyu was removed and sentenced to 18 years for corruption. Bo, however, boasts a far higher profile and more extensive national power base, and unlike Chen's carefully orchestrated takedown, his case has been much messier and uncertain.

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Associated Press writer Didi Tang in Beijing contributed to this report.

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/3d281c11a96b4ad082fe88aa0db04305/Article_2012-08-13-AS-China-Political%20Scandal/id-72dad91b6bc24eef9bc653a869472885

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Kristin Chenoweth leaves "The Good Wife" to recover from injuries

LOS ANGELES (TheWrap.com) - Kristin Chenoweth has left the CBS drama "The Good Wife" in order to recover from injuries she sustained last month while filming the series.

Chenoweth, who was to have recurring role on the series as a political reporter on its upcoming fourth season, announced her decision Monday, saying she has "deep regret" over leaving the series.

"It is with deep regret to inform everyone that due to my injuries, I am unable to return to 'The Good Wife' at this time," Chenoweth said in a statement. "Getting better slowly and thank you everyone for your concern."

Chenoweth - who recently starred in the short-lived ABC series "G.C.B." - was injured when she was hit in the head by scaffolding while filming "The Good Wife" in New York. The actress was released from the hospital shortly thereafter, but her recovery hasn't been swift.

"Today not best 'pain' day," Chenoweth tweeted last week. "Remaining positive. (I think)"

Chenoweth, 44, will appear in the series' season premiere, scheduled to air next month. She may return for more episodes in the future, but at the moment she is focused on her recovery.

CBS has not yet responded to TheWrap's request for comment.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/kristin-chenoweth-leaves-good-wife-recover-injuries-231256610.html

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